Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
