My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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