She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
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