throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
