Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
