Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I need a burrito and a hug.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
