Three words: puerto rican gang bang
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Randomize
