I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
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