You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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