yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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