Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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