He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
