I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
