Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
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