You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
