just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
