Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
