just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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