bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
