at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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