I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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