Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
