Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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