sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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