white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
