4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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