Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
