at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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