uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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