i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
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I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
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We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
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