I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Please don't give away my fajitas
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
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