do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
