The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Randomize
