He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
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