I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
