is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
