somebody snuck up and got me drunk
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize