eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
