Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
