sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
