Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
My pussy is not your playground.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
