The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Randomize
