dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
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Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I can't trust your balls anymore.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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