Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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