He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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