Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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