your room smells of hookers.
And success
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
We talked him into tasing himself.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
Randomize
