Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
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