I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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