Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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