And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
