is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
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