HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Randomize
