could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
