I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
