At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
Randomize
