goodnight i made you a song goodbye
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
jump out the window naked night went bad
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
