Duck Duck Cougar?
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Randomize
