My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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