I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize