That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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