I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
