I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
