i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
