So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
