he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
