i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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